Rodney Dangerfield
Birthday: 22 November 1921, Deer Park, Long Island, New York, USA
Birth Name: Jacob Cohen
Height: 178 cm
Rodney Dangerfield was born Jacob Cohen on November 22, 1921 in Deer Park, Suffolk County, Long Island, New York. He was the son of Dorothy "Dotty" (Teitelbaum) and Phillip Cohen, who perfor ...Show More
My dog learned how to beg by watching me through the bedroom door.
My dog learned how to beg by watching me through the bedroom door.
I was ugly, very ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother.
I was ugly, very ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother.
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
I feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know.
I feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know.
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
My mother never breast-fed me. She told me she liked me better as a friend.
My mother never breast-fed me. She told me she liked me better as a friend.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy, and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said, 'Okay, you're ug Show more
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy, and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said, 'Okay, you're ugly too.' Hide
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I Show more
I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'. Hide
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
What a kid I've got. I told him about the birds and the bees, and he told me about the butcher and m Show more
What a kid I've got. I told him about the birds and the bees, and he told me about the butcher and my wife. Hide
I told my doctor that when I woke up in the morning I couldn't stand looking at myself in the mirror Show more
I told my doctor that when I woke up in the morning I couldn't stand looking at myself in the mirror. He said, "At least we know your vision is perfect." Hide
Last week my house was on fire. My wife told the kids, 'Be quiet, you'll wake up Daddy'.
Last week my house was on fire. My wife told the kids, 'Be quiet, you'll wake up Daddy'.
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.
My cousin's gay. He went to London only to find out that Big Ben is a clock.
My cousin's gay. He went to London only to find out that Big Ben is a clock.
[in a 1986 interview, explaining the origin of his "no respect" routine] I had this joke: "I played Show more
[in a 1986 interview, explaining the origin of his "no respect" routine] I had this joke: "I played hide and seek; they wouldn't even look for me". To make it work better, you look for something to put in front of it: "I was so poor, I was so dumb", so this, so that. I thought, "Now what fits that joke?" Well, "No one liked me" was all right. But then I thought, "A more profound thing would be, 'I get no respect!' ". Hide
It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.
It's lonely on the top when there's no one on the bottom.
To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit [he had given up on show business in 194 Show more
To give you an idea how well I was doing at the time I quit [he had given up on show business in 1949], I was the only one who knew I quit. Hide
My wife was afraid of the dark, saw me naked, now she's afraid of the light!
My wife was afraid of the dark, saw me naked, now she's afraid of the light!
I'm very lucky. Years ago they had images, like W.C. Fields, Laurel and Hardy, Groucho Marx. But tod Show more
I'm very lucky. Years ago they had images, like W.C. Fields, Laurel and Hardy, Groucho Marx. But today, I think I'm the only one around with an image. And that image is something everyone identified with. They all feel life treated 'em wrong and they got no respect. Hide
My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
My wife was afraid of the dark. Then she saw me naked, and now she's afraid of the light.
[asked who makes him laugh] My wife, during sex.
[asked who makes him laugh] My wife, during sex.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous: everyone hasn't met m Show more
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous: everyone hasn't met me yet. Hide
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Comedy is a camouflage for depression.
Comedy is a camouflage for depression.
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
When I get in an elevator, the operator takes one look and says, "Basement?"
When I get in an elevator, the operator takes one look and says, "Basement?"
At my age, making love is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
At my age, making love is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
I don't get no respect, no respect at all!
I don't get no respect, no respect at all!
[on 8/24/04, before entering a Los Angeles hospital for heart valve replacement surgery] If things g Show more
[on 8/24/04, before entering a Los Angeles hospital for heart valve replacement surgery] If things go right, I'll be there about a week, and if things don't go right, I'll be there about an hour and a half. Hide
Rodney Dangerfield's FILMOGRAPHY
All
as Actor (114)
as Creator (2)
Rodney Dangerfield'S roles
Himself, Himself - Host, Various
Lucifer
Monty Capuletti
Al Czervik
Larry Burns
Thornton Melon